There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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