they need to just BURY HIM!
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
