someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
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