i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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