how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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