fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
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