that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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