Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
