u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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