At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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