Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
