I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
