btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
