I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
i think i just lost a toe
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
