is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
