I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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