last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
