sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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