i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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