I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
