when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
