it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize