It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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