There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
