What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
