Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You're a waste of cheezeits
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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