PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
