listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Ladies don't puke and tell
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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