By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
