He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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