yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
