No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
Randomize
