Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
