how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
