u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
