My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
