i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
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