I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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