But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
