Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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