He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
