I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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