I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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