My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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