eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
