If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
