My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
