How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
