is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Pooping to opera.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
