I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
