You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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