i jhust puked up my retainher.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
