I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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