I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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