I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
