It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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