This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
