This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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