Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
