just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Then you guys just all showered together...?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
