its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize