Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
