Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
