we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
