the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
